Mission Field

I've been very frustrated lately that so much of my time, energy, and emotion has been put into the whole custody thing.  To be more specific:  I'm frustrated that so much of my time has been spent on paperwork, recording, filing, copying, etc.  I feel like it impedes on my time that I get to spend enjoying the boys.  I'm frustrated that I have to spend time with people I don't want to spend time with.  And even more frustrated that I have to make the boys spend time with them.  I'm frustrated that on the days that I could be "off" with my husband or spending time with my family, I am with "them."  I'm frustrated that this is a situation completely out of my control.  I'm frustrated that I have spent so much time crying for, begging God, arguing with God, feeling angry toward others, feeling completely drained because all my emotional energy has been spent worrying.  I think the "parents" are supposed to be my mission field, but I really don't want that.  I want someone else to be Christ to them.  But I know that I have the opportunity and I should take it.  I need to be praying for them because most likely, they will be influencing Deacon's life in some way.

As frustrating as this all is, this is my mission field right now.  Ugh.  God, I need Your help!